Monday, January 18, 2010


Let me start off by saying that Brad and I have not got the positive response from people, like Tara and George have. I am going to list the most common issues I encounter and then I am going to explain to you WHY I am still doing this. You still may not support nor agree with me, but I hope you can better understand where I am coming from.

1.) What if something happens?
2.) What about your children?
3.) Do you really think you will be able to give it up?
4.) That is nine months you are giving up!
5.) No amount of money is worth the consequences!
6.) I can see you doing this for a sister or a family member, but for a stranger?
7.) You have your own motives for doing this. (I know this doesn't really sound like something neg, but it is and I will explain)

What if something happens? What IF something happens! I am fully aware of the consequences and risks of my actions. I may have complications during my pregnancy, that no doctor could ever predict! I may die during delivery! I may be put on bed rest for the whole duration of my pregnancy. I UNDERSTAND! There are risks and consequences for every action! Did you know that every time you get behind the wheel of your car, your brakes could go out, or you could get into a fatal accident? What keeps you getting into your car every morning to go to work? You get in it because it is what you have done 5 million times before and nothing has happened, and what are the chances that it will happen this time! Exactly! This is not the first time I have gotten behind the wheel and even though I know the risks and consequences, it isn't going to stop me. Because I see the WHOLE picture! LIFE!

What about your children? What ABOUT my children? Do they know what is going on? Yes! I am a mother that explains everything to my children. They are fully informed at the level of their understanding! What if you die because of this? Then it is my time to go! I am confident in the fact that my husband will step up to the plate and be the mother and the father! I have family that will love them, and I know that they will be cared for to the fullest! I can not live my life on the what if's? For those of you who truly know me, know that! Once again, I am giving someone the most precious gift of all and if I die giving someone that, I will die knowing that I allowed someone else to feel what I felt!

Do you really think you will be able to give the baby up? Yes! Am I naive to believe that I will not grieve? No! I can honestly tell you that I will cry, and cry a lot! I will grieve and I will hurt, but it is not my baby! There is no part of this baby that belongs to me! I am going into this with the thought that I am merely babysitting. When a mother comes to a babysitter/caretaker, she expects that person to keep her baby safe while she is away. Tara and George have come to Brad and I and asked us to babysit their baby/babies. When someone babysits, they love and care for this child and keep it safe, but they know that it is only temporary and the mother is going to come pick it up! And that is how I look at it. Tara and George are going to come pick up their babies, b/c they don't belong to us!

That is nine months you are giving up! Yes and no! What am I really giving up? Bikinis? yes! Drinking? yes! Riding a roller coaster? yes! Everything else? No! Pregnancy is a condition, not a sickness or a disease! I will have a belly, my feet will swell, but all of this is minor!

No amount of money is worth the consequences! This one is easy! I am not doing this for the money! I would still do it if money wasn't involved. It all goes back to my view of the risks and consequences. (see paragraph 2)

I can see you doing this for a sister or a family member, but for a stranger? This one really boggles my mind! Are you okay with the risks and consequences if I am giving a sister or family member the gift of life, but not if it is for a stranger? CONFUSION! Consequences and risks are still the same, and the big picture is that you are bringing LIFE into this world! By the way, Tara and George aren't strangers! Yes I met them a year ago, but Tara means more to me than some of my family! So I guess what I am saying is that she is my family, so now you can be okay with it!

You have your own motives for doing this. I can honestly say that there are some selfish reasons for doing this. I like being pregnant. I love the attention I get when I am pregnant. It is going to make me feel great for doing this. But I am doing something big and selfless and I am okay with have some selfish reasons for doing it. Does that make sense? Brad and I were talking about this the other day, and he made a great point. Rich people give to the poor all of the time. Why? To make them feel better about themselves! A firefighter saves lives all the time because he enjoys it and makes him feel more important or needed, but do you think the person who he saved cares about that? No, he is still a hero in their eyes! See where I am going. Yes I may have selfish reasons for doing this but I am human and Tara and George could care less, they will be holding a baby in less than a year. (WE HOPE)

So all in all, I hope this helps you understand me and my motivation, or my view on the whole process. If you have any other questions, concerns or curiosities, let me know! I would love to hear your point!

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